My name is Molly – I am 28 years old and I am the second youngest of 6 children. I have a beautiful dog, who I love to bits – Rosie (AKA Roses).
Life has been a bit of a roller-coaster for me. I was sexually abused from age 5 to 9 by two ex-friends of my brother. My brother ended one of the friendships (even though he is not aware of what was done to me by this ex-friend) and he thankfully drifted apart from the other person (who was involved only once). Another brother is an alcoholic and tormented the family from when I was born until age 8.
I moved interstate when I was 9 – I believe that’s the only reason why the sexual abuse stopped. I’ve been back to my home town many times to visit over the years, and each time have had terrible mental consequences for myself – ending up in hospital. I haven’t been back for over 2 years now and I miss my family terribly, but my psychologist doesn’t think I’m ready to take that plunge again just yet.
Interestingly, there were about 6 years where I had no conscious memory of the abuse occuring. I only began to remember things after my biggest outlet – dancing – was taken away from me, through injury. I got very unwell and even began to self harm whenever I could. I also self-harmed a lot without remembering (dissociation). I didn’t want to remember these things, and the memories were so odd – like they weren’t mine. Most of the time it was like I was floating above watching things happen to myself. Later, I learned this was due to the dissociation I had experienced during and after these events.
My past has led to major Mental Health complications in later life, and labels including: Complex Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, Dissociative Disorder NOS and Schizoaffective Disorder.
I’ve been in and out of Psychiatric Hospitals since age 17 and my latest stay was 7 months in 2012. I have been seeing the same psychologist since I was 16 – she is awesome! I also see a psychiatrist, who unfortunately is very keen on medication, but I’m hoping to change that.
2013 is a gap year for me…a year to discover who I am, what I like, hang out with friends and make new ones and learn all the while!
I still have a long way to go, which is sometimes daunting, but I believe I will get there!